It’s Getting Better

If you’ve visited the site before I hope you like the additions of the new articles. 

I feel much more positive about it now and it also makes the blog (I think) a little bit more interesting. I still have things to add but I am trying not to throw everything at it at once.

It is also working well with keeping my distance from my husband while he concentrates on money earning.  I still think he should be flattered that I like to see him so often!  I have heard of women who can’t stand their husbands being in the house during the day with them.   

However, I am still getting a lunchtime cuppa out of him so I’m not complaining. 

I have started looking around for other blogs to link to, but not found any suitable ones yet.  In fairness I only spent half an hour the other night.

Tonight I haven’t done much as I have been out with my friends for a meal, which always makes me feel really relaxed and now sleepy.

So on that positive and tired note I am off to bed.

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When a Good Company Goes Bad

It’s true that (as people) we are our own worst enemies. We start off as innocent beings when born and slowly as we learn about life we become cynical, brow beaten and dissatisfied with the way of the world. The trouble with this is that behaviour breeds behaviour and we can unwittingly pass on our negative feelings.

What has this to do with companies you may ask? Well if you are talking about people, then it has everything to do with it, as in management speak people are a companies main asset. (Okay the cynical side is saying yeah right. See what I mean?)

Many companies start off with the right intentions when if comes to expanding and employing people. The ‘want’ to be seen as a nice employer can sometimes give a different impression to how the company operates in reality. After all when it comes to interviewing people for jobs, it is not only the prospective employee that is out to make an impression. If you have the ideal candidate sitting in front of you, then you want to impress that person also.

When you consider how much of our life is spent within the working environment it is so important to be working for the right type of company. As employees all our needs are different and this can sometimes be the cause for problems arising especially within the circle of people we work with. An employer these days is under so much obligation in terms of political correctness and doing the right thing by everybody that it can take over the actual reason for running the company.

For me good communication is the key. Openness and honesty are also key values, but these should be integral within the communication process.

I once worked for an organisation that when it was really small (less than 6 people) it was a joy to go to work. I loved the people I worked with, I enjoyed the work, the environment was good, not far from home and being one of the first in I was given many opportunities to develop myself. I was instrumental in setting up systems that were still in use 10 years later and indeed praised by external organisations. So what happened?

We started to expand and take on new people for newly created positions. Shouldn’t be a problem, but in reality it is only natural that as you take people on the dynamics start to change. Groups start to form and empires start to be built.

In creating new positions you are ultimately creating a chance for someone to prove themselves. This is natural and if people succeed within the confines of what the company is trying to achieve then brilliant. It becomes a problem when this new role requires further support and in the blink of an eye the new role has expanded into a department.

This is when you start getting what I term ‘the tug of war’ approach to dealing with problems. As a small concern everything is out in the open and it’s quite quick and easy to make decisions. When you have departments, you start having to deal with small groups of people (this could be just two or three people) who while wanting to solve issues, will also be thinking how it will best benefit their department.

Again this is a natural ‘animal instinct’, in fact it would probably be more appropriate to call departments ‘packs’. It also slows the decision making process down and often the final decision isn’t always the best one for the company.

In the case of where I worked this was exacerbated further by the company splitting into divisions. The dynamics really altered then as you had departments within divisions. Now what do you do?

It still could have worked really well, but insecurities and jealousies started coming into the equation. Add in also that one of the Directors was friends outside of work with the head of one of the divisions, so now you have favouritism thrown into the mix. And finally the addition of a Finance Director within the group. Once finance started dictating the terms of the company, then realism seemed to go out of the window.

At the base of all of this was communication or lack of it. From being a very open company encouraging people to share their views it turned into a place where you were asked not to rock the boat. This was disheartening especially after several rounds of redundancy it really cried out for improved communication and working together.

The reasons why the company were set up in the first place got lost in the journey to succeed. With the rapid expansion of the company and more business ideas being thrown into the melting pot, the real reason for the company being in existence just got overlooked.

The moral. Obviously a company always needs to look ahead and progress but don’t forget why and how it was set up. It may be because the owners didn’t like how they were managed in a previous company, or they were fed up of receiving bad customer service so wanted to change how things were done. Maybe they worked in environments where information was kept so close to people’s chests that it stopped the company from moving forward.

Sometimes stopping and looking back at this can realign and focus the mind. You can also bring in any amount of ‘management initiatives’ but if you can’t even follow the basic rules of communication then it’s a waste of time.

A really good example was highlighted to me during a course I attended. Within a company one department (Department A) used to regularly send another department (Department B) a large financial report. Department B basically used to bin it as it was of no use to them and this had been happening for months.

It wasn’t until representatives of these two departments both attended the same course that they actually spoke to each other for the first time. Department B told Department A that they found the report of no use and it wasn’t until Department A asked the important question ‘what do you want?’ that they found a solution and a chance for Department A to stop wasting time producing an invalid report.

Simple really, but when a company gets larger sometimes the basic communications get lost or it’s a case of ‘we’ve always done it this way’. It’s too easy to moan about something instead of picking up a phone and dealing directly with each other. It can also be hard taking advice from someone outside of your own department and yet, an objective view can be a good one.

And doesn’t this also come down to respecting other people in the work place?

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2

Friendship is when someone visits you for no other reason than to see you.

Anon 

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1

"The proper office of a friend is to side with you when you are in the wrong.

Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right"

Mark Twain

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Bed Wetting - At My Age!

I can’t believe it, I am over 40 and this week I wet the bed. Yes, you read right, I wet the bed. I am not talking dribbly pants here, I soaked myself. I wanted to cry and not with laughing.

Imagine how embarassing it is to wake your partner in the middle of the night to say ’sorry darling, just need to change the sheets, because I’ve wet myself’. Thankfully, we’ve been together a while and he is very understanding, even helped me turn the mattress over!!

How did this happen? My brain totally and utterly tricked me, let me explain.

I used to wet the bed as a child so I am still quite paranoid about having last wees before bedtime etc. Sometimes my daughter wakes in the night, so it is also a signal for me to use the loo before getting back into bed. This particular night, after having a few nights of my daughter waking up in the night and being very tired, my husband very kindly woke up and said “I’ll go”.

Magic words! I did note that I could probably do with going to the toilet but in an attempt not to disturb my daughter I thought (stupidly now) I’ll wait a bit for her to settle, then go.

Oh how wrong I was. I must have fallen into a really deep sleep and then it happened, I dreamt I needed the toilet and worse still I was sitting on it.

I even remember in the dream thinking “am I really on the toilet?”, to which my brain said “yes, you’re fine, carry on”. Safe in this ‘knowledge’ I went for it.

It was when (within my dream) I thought should I really feel this wet when I’m using the toilet that the alarm bells rang and I woke up. I tentatively placed a hand under the bedclothes and was horrified.

I haven’t done that for many, many years. I’ve had the dream of being on the toilet before but immediately woken up before any damage was done.

I now think this is the repayment I got for allowing my husband to settle my daughter. Or maybe it was because I had a full on ‘banging cupboard doors’ strop in the kitchen that morning but that’s another story . . . . . .

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Introduction to Emma’s Dilemma’s

It’s been said that we all have a book inside us waiting to be written (or something like that, never been good on specifics!).

Maybe that’s true and there are probably people out there worthy of that statement. I would expect most women have the ability to write about juggling and multi-tasking!

Me . . . I have difficulty remembering what I went into a room for, so I’d have a lot of trouble writing my own story. Plus my limited use of adjectives would make it quite boring. I really like the word ‘nice’ and it covers a multitude of sins when describing something, but it does have a feel good factor/value. Only, my English teacher at school spent a lot of time trying to encourage the use of words other than nice to describe things.

Why do I mention this, because it’s something that has stuck with me since school, a memory if you like. I have lots of individual memories, not enough to write a book but maybe enough snippets that are mildly amusing, embarrasing, sad or daft even. However, you may be able to relate to them or you might think, thank goodness it’s not just me.

And that’s what this section is about. Join me on a rollercoaster adventure of emotions, funnies and everyday life that you can all hopefully relate to.

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It Doesn’t Have to be Perfect

I have made a decision today.  As the proper website can not be formulated for about a month, I’ve decided to create areas within the blog for some of the articles I am picking up.

I will also check with my writers to ensure that they are happy with this. 

It may help increase the traffic to the blog and start bringing interest to the site.  It’s not perfect but at least I feel as though it’s moving forward.  I can also scoot around other blogs and see if there are any women writers that I can link to or encourage usage of their articles.

I actually feel really positive about this.  It won’t work exactly like a website, but the content will be there.  The really good thing is I am able to use the software.  I can’t create the website on my own, I need the technical help, but with this blog software I can pretty much do everything for myself.  Even better!

The one thing I really do want though is my logo.  I’ll need my husband’s help to see if we can put this on somewhere.

So have a look at the article section as well and bit by bit I will increase the content.  A win-win situation I think!

I have also discovered today that it’s my husband that is the real problem for me being disorganised. I achieved so much today after shutting the door on him to his office, which proves that when he’s around I end up ‘having to talk to him about nonsense’! 

It therefore has nothing to do with the fact that I am easily distracted and have been likened to a butterfly in the way I work and it’s really me that keeps interrupting him.  Does it?

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Guardian Angels

I like to think that we are watched over and guided by the spirits of loved ones or guardian angels. I also like to believe that things happen for a reason, call it destiny if you will. I also feel that there is no harm to think like this especially if it brings peace or happiness.

My belief is borne out of situations that I have experienced. The main one is around losing my father who died of cancer many years ago after a very short illness that took the family by surprise.

I couldn’t accept that my father was ill, nor, as the doctors had said that he had up to four months to live. He had just retired early and had made many plans with mom for his retirement. Looking back now I wish I had done things differently but at the time it was my way of coping with the news. I basically tried to block it out and pretend that it wasn’t happening.

Dad had wanted us to visit my sister in Australia the previous year. As I had only just got married, I didn’t have the funds available and suggested we went the following year. He died before this could come to fruition. First regret.

I acted as though everything was going to be okay and now realise that I didn’t put enough effort in spending more time with him, because if I ignored it then it would go away wouldn’t it? Second regret.

I even missed being with him when he died. I remember the night well. He was in bed at home, with my mom, my sister and her daughter and myself all round the bed, just chatting normally and having a nice time of it. I decided it was time for me to head home and I remember Dad saying something along the lines of ‘Oh she’s got to go now’. Perhaps he knew. I kissed him goodnight, said bye to everyone and went home. Within a hour or so of getting home, I received the phone call that he had died. Third regret.

I’ve always wanted to know that Dad was okay with how I was. It wasn’t because I didn’t care, I loved him to bits but didn’t know how to handle the situation. Nothing ever prepares you for losing a parent at any age. But two things happened over the following years that make me feel as though he has been watching over me.

Shortly after Dad died, along with my mom, sister and niece we all went to stay at my mother and father in law’s house. It was nearing Christmas, so mom, my sister, niece and I decided to go and do some Christmas shopping. As usual for the time of year, the Salvation Army band were out playing Christmas Carols.

My own favourite carol is Little Donkey, which was not one of their numbers. However, this year as we approached them in the street they struck up with none other than Little Donkey. We were glued to the pavement. When they finished we found out that this had been the first year that this particular carol had been part of their repertoire! I can’t describe how this made me feel.

The second incident was connected with my husband and I moving house. We had started house hunting before Dad died and he had come along to one or two with us. When we eventually found the house for us, I have to admit I was quite sad that Dad hadn’t seen our new house. Imagine our surprise that when we moved in we found out that the son of the people who owned the house was the golf professional at the club where Dad had been a member and he knew my Dad!

If that wasn’t divine intervention then I don’t know what was.

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The Real World

I sat with my husband last night to discuss the design of the website.  In brief we have to defer it for about 2 - 3 weeks.  Yes, I am really disappointed, but in true business sense, we need to concentrate fully on the areas of our business that can bring money in.

We have a product launch for some software that must happen the beginning of October.  It needs 2 weeks of my husbands full time attention and maybe that means 12 hour working days.  It has to be done. 

While my website is important to me in terms of building my own confidence, it is not about to make me money - yet!

Therefore I need to change tack mentally.  From tomorrow morning I need to be wife and mother extraordinaire (not going to happen!), I need to keep my husband shut away in the office for as long as is reasonable (but I do so love talking to him) and I need to re-arrange some of our regular patterns of working ie housework (that’s okay I’m really hit and miss with that anyway!).

My evenings need to be spent helping with this launch.  To be honest it will be a good exercise as I should learn some good hints and tips for the launch of the website.  I will also start putting together more articles, so that when we have the time it should all go together beautifully.

Can I be any more positive?  Okay it’s not in the direction I would like it to be in, but isn’t it better to have some money coming in than having a pretty website?

I will also finish clearing my desk and the utility.  If you read a previous log you will note that I only needed another hour or so to complete the task.  Well, best laid plans and all that. 

I think I now need ‘a few hours’.  While looking for some vouchers my son had for his Birthday a few months ago, I found on my desk amongst all the paperwork, 2 bottles of hand wash, some deodorant (that I had been looking for and had to go and buy more because I couldn’t find it!) and a rubber squeaky chicken.  I rest my case!

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I’m Not Asking For Much Am I?

However positive I am trying to be, it doesn’t help when you rely on others for help and it doesn’t materialise.

Although I have done more rationalising with the website and I have a plan for starting it and growing it, the fact is, without the website in place it can’t work.

I have now been waiting patiently for the last four nights (including tonight) to get some physical work on the website completed and for one reason or another I have been left hanging on.

I feel really frustrated at this moment, but I am trying to be calm about how I write this.  I could have had something done last night, but I really didn’t feel that starting to work on it at 11.00 at night was the most appropriate!

Apart from the fact I work better in the mornings (and this is not possible currently) I fell asleep on the settee waiting!

I don’t think I am being mean.  I feel that I am giving quite a lot of myself to different people at the moment, I would like the balance restored.  I am quite a patient person and perhaps a little bit too understanding with others. 

Having said all that one of my friends has been sending me loads of emails this week with some great material and I have the first instalments from my friend who is on the mega diet.  So a very big thank you for that.

So in the words of my mother I shall take a deep breath, tighten my bra strap and try, try, try again!

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