Archive for February, 2007
Tuesday, February 20th, 2007
At last, I am fashionable you know.
Apparently, this year, the look for hair is ’straivy’. That’s a cross between straight and wavy. I’ve had that box ticked for years, they only had to look my way!
But I think there should be another fashion term, especially for women with hair like mine that have that ‘not tonight Josephine look’. I think it should be ’scraivy’. That’s a cross between wavy and scarecrow.
I’ve mentioned before that I do a damn fine impression of a scarecrow, especiallly when the weather is minutely damp and I’ve had to walk a nano-second in it. It doesn’t matter whether I’ve spent 5 minutes or 50 minutes doing my hair in the morning, if it’s slightly, minutely, micro damp outside, I end up looking the same.
My sister used to think I was a bit of a drama queen until we both went to a hairdressers many years ago. Within minutes of walking out of the salon, my hair looked like it had had a fight with itself. She couldn’t believe it, but at least she understood.
Today was a particularly bad day. It doesn’t really bother me how I look but it comes to something when people start crossing the road to avoid you. This led me to what we term in our household a ’sod it why shouldn’t I moment’ today.
In an effort to save money I haven’t been going to the one hairdresser I used to go to. She works in a posh salon and they come with posh prices. I’ve followed her from salon to salon for years.
Plus although she’s a brilliant hairdresser it’s sometimes hit and miss what mood she’s in. Sometimes I can get a really good conversation out of her, sometimes not. Okay I know that sometimes it is nice to not to have to talk and probably from her point of view she does it all day.
I’ve been having my friend cut my hair, equally well. But she hasn’t been well lately and I didn’t really want to phone her to say "hi, are you feeling better and can you do my hair?". Not in the top ten things to say in the book of ‘How to Win Friends’.
So as I am working and have limited time available for girlie pursuits I phoned to see if I could get in after work this week. It’s about a 20 minute walk from where I walk and thought yeah, do it.
The only appointment they had out of the next fortnight (I told you she’s a good hairdresser) was tonight at 4.45. I took a leaf out of everybody elses book at work and chose to leave at 4.15 (but being a good girl, checked with my work mates first).
I walked in looking like a scarecrow and came out feeling a million dollars. I don’t care what I looked like to anyone else, but I felt great.
My hairdresser was in a really good mood, very chatty and I felt really relaxed after having it done. Even the family said how nice I looked. So, money well spent.
I should take a picture really, because in the morning, if it’s raining like it is now, I shall still end up looking like a scarecrow but with shorter hair!
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Monday, February 19th, 2007
I am on a trolley being wheeled back to the postnatal ward, my new son in my arms. He has arrived over three weeks early, but seems healthy and a good size for his gestation. Having previously had a child which spent several weeks in neonatal intensive care, I am just glad to have S with me. I look into his tiny face and he gazes back with unwavering wide eyes. Later in the week I tell my mother that at that very moment S reminded me of a cross between his brother M at that age and ET from the movie.
Knowing what we know now, the comparison with ET is not so surprising. S is severely autistic and people with autism are described as being like aliens from another planet, because they find it so difficult to communicate and adapt to society’s norms. I once read that having autism felt as we would feel if we were stranded in an exotic foreign country, unable to speak or read the language and could find no one to translate for us. We would struggle to comprehend the cultural differences and to make ourselves understood.
That is a thought that I have to cling on to when S is kicking off because he can’t understand what is expected of him. I hope that it is something that you will also remember if you meet a person with autism. Some parents even buy T shirts or badges for their kids printed with the words ‘I’m not naughty, I’m autistic’, just to encourage the world to show more understanding.
Posted in A Parallel Universe | No Comments »
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
Before I start on my piece for tonight, take a look at Emma’s article Just a bit of Lettuce. I know where she’s coming from on that one. I’ve had similar conversations with my friends.
Also have a look at the latest on the articles section titled Common Sense. This is brilliant, it was apparently sent in an email to Katie and she felt she had to submit it for the blog.
So, on to me. There I was sitting quietly at the computer Friday night when my husband looked up and told me that some friends of ours had asked if they could call in and see us on their way through to a hotel they were staying in locally to us.
Brilliant, we haven’t seen them since last October.
And then I looked at the clock which read 10.30 pm and realised that the whole house looked as though we’d had a mini tornado ripping through.
Not that our friends would have minded, they are really down to earth and with children of their own they understand that tidy houses and children don’t always go.
But I just couldn’t let people in to see what I can only describe as a pig sty. It’s more surface clutter than anything but you know what it’s like. You start one job and then another pops it’s head up that really isn’t important, but you still have to do it.
Like, cleaning the kitchen windows. I kid you not at midnight Friday I was cleaning the kitchen windows. I ended up staying up until turned 1.00 in the morning, with my husband, to make the house look fairly presentable and then I did more in the morning.
There must be a little panic gene in my head that switches on when I know we are having visitors. It’s like a siren shouting alert, alert.
Anyway for all that we had a great day with them visiting the Thinktank in Birmingham and I’ve really enjoyed looking around my now tidy house. Ah bliss! (Well for 5 minutes anyway!)
Posted in General | 2 Comments »
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
I can’t take the credit for this, it was via an email, but it really strikes home. Well done to whoever wrote this initially.
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Panadol, sun lotion or a Band Aid to a student - but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I’m A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
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Sunday, February 18th, 2007
I’ve had many a conversation with friends of mine about how much we love our husbands and we wouldn’t be without them.
But sometimes, just sometimes, we don’t like them.
I decided the other night that it would be really good if my husband would sort tea out for the children and myself and I duly asked him nicely if he wouldn’t mind. He was up for it, especially when I helped him choose what we could all have. Great, a night off for me.
That night was what we in our house call a muck up night, when we all might have something different, something snacky but are all happy with the choices we make.
The reason I asked him to do tea was because I’d had a really busy week trying to sort the mess out that is our home including a massive pile of ironing. Plus, like many women I don’t sleep very well at night and it catches up with me. Thirdly I had started another period just over one week after finishing the last one. And the doctors tell me I’m not starting the menopause!
My husband and I decided to have chicken in a lime and sweet chilli sauce with rice. Now, I don’t like dinners that are too dry and I asked my husband if he would chop up a bit of salad for me. All I wanted was a bit of lettuce, tomato and cucumber. Nothing fancy. It’s just sometimes I crave salad.
You’d have thought I was asking him to fly to the moon and back. The sulking I got and the response of "you know I don’t like doing salad, won’t you do it?" didn’t bode well with me.
Well, yes I could have, but I really wanted a night off from feeding everybody else. So I asked him again and this time I got a shirty response of "in my top 10 of things I really don’t like doing, chopping salad is one of them" and a really pathetic "please don’t ask me to do it".
I’m not a material person and I certainly don’t ask for expensive items for the house, and for pity’s sake I was only asking for a bit of salad.
Yet he refused.
Perhaps it’s my hormonal state and I didn’t cry, but it really upset me that he wouldn’t cut up a bit of salad.
Maybe it upset me that he knew his own mind enough to be able to refuse and I’m not like that. But maybe, just maybe it’s more to do with the fact that I wear myself out (like most women) looking after the children, house and working and it made me feel very unimportant for that few minutes.
I have since had an apology and have made my feelings known, but for that day he was not in my list of favourite top ten people either.
Posted in Emma's Dilemmas | No Comments »
Sunday, February 18th, 2007
Coming soon on April 9th! 
Posted in The Pink Project | No Comments »
Friday, February 16th, 2007
Well the trip to the doctors confirmed what I thought. It’s my age!
Okay so she didn’t say as much and while there are a couple of minor things wrong with my back, in essence it appears to be wear and tear.
It is also complicated by the hormones every month. So it’s something I will have to ‘manage’. 
I’ve been offered some physiotherapy, which I have agreed to as they will be able to give me some advice on excercises I can do plus dietary help.
It never hurts to hear another point of view, plus, I’ve also been told about yoga, which I may look into.
I can’t be looking too bad though. I went into my local florists today. I’ve been a customer for years and am on first name terms with them.
We were chatting about what we had all been up to and I was asked how old I was. On mentioning that I was 42, I was met with "how much younger they thought I was". I didn’t ask if that was how old I acted or looked though - a compliment is a compliment!
While we are talking about good news I am delighted to announce that we have a new writer to the site - Lizzie Ford.
Lizzie will be writing under the heading of ‘A Parallel Universe’. We have the introduction already on line tonight and I am really excited about this. Lizzie will be sharing some funny and heartwarming stories with us on life with an autistic child.
So a big welcome aboard to Lizzie and click here to catch the first piece.
Posted in General | 5 Comments »
Friday, February 16th, 2007
Have you noticed how, when a woman is pregnant, people will stop and ask if she hopes for a girl or a boy?
The sort of reply most often given is ‘I don’t care as long as it’s alright.’
But have you ever stopped to think about the families who end up with a child that is not ‘alright’? Nowadays pregnant women are offered many tests.
If a problem is found with the foetus they are usually given a choice and whatever decision is made, it will not be an easy one.
However, it is often forgotten that there are also problems, such as cerebral palsy, which are actually caused by a premature or difficult birth and there are many other conditions which simply can’t be picked up by tests. There is no guarantee of a perfect baby.
Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD), are amongst those conditions which can’t be detected in the womb.
The causes of ASD are not yet known, there is no cure and it is currently being diagnosed at about the rate of about 1 child in 100 in the UK, although some children are more profoundly affected than others.
Our son is severely autistic and I want to tell you a little about the laughter and tears he brings to our family.
Stick with me for snapshots of our life…
Posted in A Parallel Universe | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 13th, 2007
This was emailed to me today, but I don’t know who actually did this.
Have you ever wondered how a woman’s brain works? Well….it’s finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:
Every one of those little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
A man has only 2 balls and they take up all his thoughts.
Posted in A Little Smile | 1 Comment »
Monday, February 12th, 2007
I feel like an old wreck at the moment. I’m suffering from lower back pain and feel like I should be walking round sucking in breath with my hand on my back ensuring everyone around me takes notice.
I will hopefully get the results of the x-ray on Wednesday, which will probably be, stop moaning, you’re getting older!
I had this conversation with a similarly aged friend recently and it seems like when you reach a certain age, your health starts fading a little.
We’ve both had the same things ’starting to go’. The trouble is when you have children, your problems are heightened somewhat as you still have to act as the swing, the climbing frame, the piggy for piggy back rides and the general pick me up routine.
A child is not interested in hearing your back is playing up - trust me, they just want to be bounced, jumped and lifted ever higher.
Perhaps this could be the makings of a good guide to getting older. I could call it ‘Falling Apart’, the guide to losing your health. Don’t think it will sell many copies, do you?
Posted in General | 4 Comments »