When I had my first child, M, I had to learn about what was available locally for young children. I had just given up work and we had not been living in the area for long, so I also had to make new friends. Some of my best friends now were met in those mother and baby groups fifteen years ago.

When S arrived it should have been straightforward. The local pre-school playgroup was very popular so I put his name on the waiting list at birth. From the very beginning I took him along to mother and toddler groups with M. He had plenty of chances to socialise with babies his own age but he could not cope with it and would get very distressed. It became a struggle to take M out and cope with S.

Once he started to see the specialist speech therapist at the hospital his name was put down for an assessment and therapy group there each week. It was a lovely supportive small group for both kids and parents, but S hated that too. He had no idea how to play and would cling to my lap. He hated the noise. Instead of just feeling the dried pasta shapes he ate them and painted his face rather than the paper. He wouldn’t go on the climbing frame if any other child was on it  and refused to wear an apron for art or water play.

I knew that he and the others were there to be assessed over a period of time for autism. But some of the parents were unaware of this fact, so the ‘A’ word was never used…