So, I got up at 6.20 am and started getting the ’seaweed’ ready for my son’s project.  And even though we had all been up early no one was ready to go out of the house on time.  Unbelievable.

(I must also mention here that the day before my husband was about to take on a new business that was subject to new legislation going through.  The legislation affected the person we were taking over from, and we found out that it was to be delayed by at least two months.  So this was also a bit of a blow. However despite the stress around I did manage to stay focussed and came up with a potential solution if agreeable by the other people.)

So . . . . we managed to strap everyone in the car when my neighbour came out of her house.  I said ‘you look how I feel’ when she blurted out that her dad had been taken into hospital! 

She’s an only child so is close to her mom and dad.  Thinking it was last night I asked what had happened and of course, couldn’t just race off to work as she was clearly distressed.

She told me it was 2 nights ago he had been taken in as he had very large swellings in his waist area, although no pain.  It’s been an on and off saga with the doctors and hospital but the swelling had got bigger.

She went off to work and I made the decision to take the children into school first, sent a text to one of the girls at work and said I’d be in at 9.00.  I’m usually there between 8.30 and 8.45.  I also made the decision to ask if I could leave at 4.00 the same day in the same text as I wanted to be home.

It then hit me that my neighbour who I have known for well over 20 years had left it 2 days to tell me about her dad and I really only found out by making the comment I did.  I know she must be going through a stressful time but out of all her friends I can understand the angst she must be feeling as I lost my dad some years ago and know the heartache of making hospital visits.  (In our case we knew dad was dying which was worse, because he didn’t.)

Other mom’s in the playground knew because she’d called on them to help her out.   It made me feel really small and very insignificant.  I’ve tried to make sense of this but I can’t without bringing it back to myself and maybe I should be thinking - it’s not about me!

Anyway I got to work and nobody bothered to ask if I was okay especially as I’m usually in before the rest of the team. 

Plus my computer broke the night before so I had to move desks and sit with my back to everyone.  I felt very displaced.

My husband phoned me during the morning and after seeing the people we were buying this business off (who apparently were also really upset by having to let us down) liked my proposition and said they’d think about it. (So not entirely stupid then!)

The rest of the day passed in a boring, time watching kind of way.  I couldn’t wait to get out of there.

When my family picked me up at night my son announced that the disco I thought he was going to the next night was actually that night.  So we had to get him ready and organised and while he went off to his disco I took my other children to the park so that middle child could practice riding without his stabilisers.  This he had succeeded in doing at the weekend.

Today I ended up walking to school with the children.  They are having a ‘healthy week’ at school and are trying to encourage the children to go to school but not in a car.

In fairness my eldest had a new bike for his Birthday and just wanted to show it to his friends, so I agreed.  It’s a 30 minute walk and that’s just to the first school.  I then had to trek over to school number two.  But hey as I’m not that into healthy I arranged for my husband to pick me up from school 2 and take me home in the car!!

I also had the delightful chance of having lunch with my son at his school (based on a suggestion I made to the headteacher, so that’s twice today I’ve been a bit clever).  I put the idea forward nearly a year ago but it worked well with their healthy week.

And to tie up loose ends - the reason for me crying while reading a story to one of my children last night?  I started reading his school book and on one of the pages there was a short list of flowers which he asked me to read out to him.  I started crying when I read out loud ‘violet’. 

Almost 17 years ago my dad bought me a little violet in a pot that I have kept all these years.  This year it didn’t seem to be doing very well so my mom who is green fingered said she’d take it away and try and do something with it. She told me on a recent visit that there was no chance of it surviving and had got rid of it, which has just broken my heart.

It’s been a very stressful time lately for lots of reasons and it was the icing on the cake that I’d lost my violet, through not looking after it as well as I should have.  Part of me wishes mom had just given it me back (I know she would have done her best with it) but I think it’s more to do with the fact that I’ve lost that little bit of my dad and the grief has just poured out once again even though it’s been 13 years since he died.

So that’s been my eventful couple of days . . . .  I’ve tried relaxing a bit today and not getting hung up on the house tidying.  Plus I need to save my strength for walking to school again tomorrow.  Bah humbug.  Up with sugar I say.