Archive for June, 2007
Sunday, June 17th, 2007
While wading through a pile of washing the other day, my daughter who has a pretend washing machine asked if she could have some to do herself.
I picked out a couple of things for her to take away and ‘wash’.
Later that day I collected the items I had given her to put in with the rest of the load I was about to put on.
She followed me into the utility, watched me pick up a dress (one of the items I had previously given her), took it off me and said "I’ve already washed that one!"
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Saturday, June 16th, 2007
What a mad week I’ve had this week. Catching up with big Sis, school trips, hospital visits, airport pick ups and just running around like a crazy woman.
Have spent some great time with my sister this week, not really doing very much, although we did go girlie shopping with mom and little one. Despite trying on a few items of clothes I didn’t come away with anything, but managed to get sis something as it’s her Birthday today.
Her daughter arrived from overseas on Thursday, so we picked her up from the airport and have just finished some more girlie shopping with just the four of us grown ups.
I use that term loosely as I caused a bit of mad hysteria in the shopping centre. 
We walked past a children’s roundabout which was emitting a jolly little ditty. I did a little dance (as you do!) and my mom and niece who were in front of me started laughing.
Assuming that they thought I was funny I did it a bit more and danced sideways. It was then that they started pointing at me, which I took them to mean I was really funny. Not so.
They were trying to warn me that I had just danced into the way of a woman and her child who were behind us. As she had started to walk around me I had just danced in her way!
As she walked past she murmured "keep her off the sherry!". I’m still not sure if she was cross with me or not. Oh well it kept us amused.
I also went on a school trip with my eldest son. I was one of those ‘moaning parents’. The school had decided to use a public bus to take them on the trip and myself and my husband weren’t very happy at this. It was out of the blue and we hadn’t been aware of the school using this method of transport before.
Maybe I’m an over protective parent but we raised a few issues before agreeing to it. Anyway I decided that the best way to judge it was to actually go on the trip and I invited myself on it as a helper. I also offered to pay my own bus fare.
The trip itself was great as it was studying a local river and the ranger we had was very informative and great with the children. We also had a picnic lunch and a game of rounders to finish it off. The bus journey was okay as they had chosen a quieter route and we occupied the whole of the upstairs.
I can’t say I would be thrilled to use it regularly especially as you have no control over the people who are using it in terms of language the children may overhear or the characters they may meet.
Plus the bus coming back had grafitti over the windows upstairs.
As a way of learning about the environment outside of school in the real world then it is certainly a useful tool.
I have been asked to voice my opinion about the trip by the teacher who organised it, so I am carefully thinking about the words to use.
I also went to my first physiotherapy session at the hospital for my back. If you’ve read the blog before you’ll know I have been suffering with my back. The woman I saw was great, asked me lots of questions and through checking my back found that I had an area that was hard and not very supple.
Therefore because it was hard, with certain movements, it has been bearing down on the other parts of my back causing more strain. I have a list of excercises to try at home and next week she is going to work on ’softening’ the area concerned. So result there.
With my sister and her daughter off to Europe tomorrow for a week or so, I shall try and catch up with all the ‘proper jobs’ I should had been concentrating on this week. But hey you have to stop and have some fun some time don’t you!
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Thursday, June 14th, 2007
I still vividly remember an image of myself in our french window from when I was a child, wearing a frilly edged, long nightie of my mothers and a pair of her shoes, clip clopping up the garden path.
I felt very grown up and pretty in the ensemble.
So too do my own children now like to dress up. They have all, at some time put my shoes on (or their father’s) and clip clopped around the house or patio.
They have all at some time worn something of mine, as a comfort and for fun.
Last night while my husband ran an errand with our eldest child, I stayed at home and was asked by one of my children for a dress to play in.
As I knew I had been given a bag of assorted dresses that I’d put to one side until they were big enough to fit them, I pulled it out of storage and showed them off one by one.
I was met with oohs and ahhs, not the right colour, too hot to play in. We went through all of them and although they were met with some degree of satisfaction, they didn’t fit the bill.
"Have you got any more" I was asked. I remembered that there was one hanging up on a rack that was still too big to be worn yet and promptly showed off the item.
"Perfect" came the reply. It was a fairly plain pink dress with limited pattern on it. My child tried it on and went to look in the mirror with a head band they had borrowed off their sibling.
"Can I keep it?" I was asked. "Well you’d need to ask your sister, as it’s hers" I replied. With that my youngest son turned to his sister and asked her if he could have it.
Should I be worried by this? I don’t know. It’s not the first time he has asked to wear something of his sisters. What I do know is that I don’t make a big deal of it. I did gently ask why he liked the dress and he said that he wanted to know what it was like to be a girl.
He doesn’t wear the items for long and usually has a laugh when he’s doing it (which is also not often). And he got offended by his sister calling him a girl.
For now I put it down to curiosity.
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Tuesday, June 12th, 2007
Considering I haven’t been to work these past two weeks I can’t believe where the time has gone. I’ve hardly been near the computer and haven’t even popped around a few of my favourite blogs.
Partly this is due to my sister being here and she has been helping me de-clutter the house, which has been a major stressing point lately.
Partly my head is so full of ideas and things I need to do that it’s been too cluttered to even get started. So I have to take stock, re-plan and take action.
I could be forgiven for doing nothing today though as my husband and I celebrated our 14th
wedding anniversary. I was even surprised with a lovely bouquet of flowers.
The children were sorted with their nan and Aunt and we went out for lunch and spent a few hours on our own. We ended up coming home from tootling around a local garden centre and buying lots of cake to have with a cuppa and watch a film.
If any of those Government ‘healthy eating’ people could have seen our shopping basket in Tesco’s they would have had a fit. Full of cake!! Yum, yum, yum.
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Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
Well, my sister arrived from overseas this week for a two month holiday with the family. Despite her having lived away for a number of years it’s quite satisfying to know that we can just pick up where we left off.
The children are delighted she is here, as she is the slightly zany one of the family (in a nice way). She is also very crafty (in the making things type of way) and spent this morning making animal masks for them. Very impressive. So now I have swapped my children for dogs and wild animals!
We decided to take the children for a ride on their bikes today and found ourselves walking along a canal path which we haven’t done for many, many years.
It was lovely. A number of narrow boats passed us with the people on board happily waving at us and shouting hello. We passed ducks, geese, horses (they were in a field), someone in a canoe, runners and cyclists.
It was very sociable and I have to say wonderful to be away from the hussle and bustle of everywhere else.
I am feeling extremely relaxed tonight, maybe because of the lovely fresh air I had today or maybe because I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.
Hurray!!
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Sunday, June 3rd, 2007
Both sexes need to realise these differences. It will make communication much simpler and removes the need for much of the nagging that takes place. No one likes being on the receiving end of subdued rage, ambiguous messages, self-pity and blame or having guilt continually thrust at them.
Everyone avoids the nagger, leaving her alone and feeling resentful. When she starts feeling even more trapped, unrecognised and isolated, the victim may suffer even more. The only real outcome from nagging is the destruction of the relationship between the nagger and the victim because the victim feels that he has to defend himself continually.
Instead of expressing hostility towards your husband in an indirect way, try communicating what you really feel, by using direct speech.
Choose a time when he has had at least 30 minutes to do some fire-gazing. Avoid jumping down your husband’s throat, as this will only make him defensive. Choose your language carefully. Using "you" language provokes defensiveness and puts you in a position of judge and jury - a position that your husband will resent.
Instead, use the "I" technique, which involves describing your husband’s behaviour, your interpretation of it, your feelings, and the consequences that the behaviour has on you. Focus on beginning your statements with the word "I". Instead of saying, "you never help around the house" say "I feel unhappy because I feel like I’m the only one who cares about the state of the house."
This technique is powerful because it reduces defensiveness, increases honesty and clarifies everyone’s feelings.
State your feelings and needs and then allow your husband to respond, ensuring that you listen to his input. While you are working on improving communication with your husband, spend quality time alone and reflect on your own situation.
What are you doing to improve your own self-image? Do you reward yourself for achieving your own goals on a day-to-day basis? Nagging can be a way of life for many people, the means by which they always end up communicating, which makes them angry, resentful and miserable towards the one person in their lives who really should be an everyday source of great joy, warmth and support.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Implementing the simple strategies given here can build a much happier, loving future for you both.
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