Knees Bent, Arms Stretch, Rah, Rah, Rah . . .

And if it was only the Hokey Cokey (is that the right spelling), I was referring to.  I was going to call it ‘They Don’t Like it Up ‘em Mr Mainwaring’ but I’m not sure many people remember Dad’s Army and it’s probably a bit near the knuckle.

Anyway, I don’t normally get initimate on this blog, partly because I don’t want to embarass myself or others, but I feel the need to share tonight.

This past year I have been battling with the old hormones and my monthly cycle has been up and down more than a yo-yo.  In fact at least a yo-yo is pretty consistent. 

My lovely lady doctor referred me for more tests which I went for today.  Not that she thinks there is anything sinister, more to put mine and her mind to rest.

So I duly went with my husband today.

Well, and this is the reason for sharing, the things us women have to go through.  The doctor was very pleasant, asked me lots of questions and then it was time for one of those examinations.  I don’t think I need to explain too much about that as I’m sure you will get the picture - after all it was the gynaecology department.

I was lying on the bed waiting for the embarassment of it all, when he declares that he will also check the upper wobbly bits. 

I’m not joking - if his clipboard had said ‘check if they hurt when I squeeze them’, then he got a tick in that box.  I thought he was going to do the usual breast examination but instead just squeezed them.  Well that’s what it felt like.

I mean he didn’t even buy me a meal first!

I told my husband about it afterwards and he put the reasoning in place for me.  He then started to laugh and told me that he had nearly burst out laughing when the doctor got up from his desk to examine me.

Apparently as he stood up the doctor began to undo the belt on his trousers.  He obviously saw my husband looking and quickly explained that he had a piece of equipment (ahem) that was upside down on his belt and was undoing it to put it right.

I know it’s not one of those subjects you usually talk about in public but the indignity we have to suffer as women.  And this is just to rule out things.

Anyway I have to go back for a scan and a hysteroscopy (which sounds delightful) at some point.  But my reasoning is that 20 minutes of indignation is worth far more than not checking these things out.

PS Here is Bill Bailey’s version of the Hokey Cokey

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