Tears Before Bedtime (And Every Other Time Too!)

The waterworks have been in ‘high mode’ this past week.  Not the down below type of waterworks (I think that’s been discussed enough!), I am in fact referring to crying.

Why now you may ask.

The youngest of my children is currently being inducted into nursery attached to the infant school of one of her brothers.  

We had the first session last week which went remarkably well (it usually does the first time) and of course I sobbed my way out of the school grounds and into the car.  It was only for an hour and a half, but it’s the end of an another era.

She had another session Tuesday for the same length, but this time she had been enthusiastic first thing, then reluctant and as it turned out got upset over a little spillage of a drink.  She has another session tomorrow for the same time again.

My precious little girl is growing up and from Friday this week will be in nursery every day for two and a half hours every morning.  She just seems too small to be in there and unlike with the boys I’ve been at home with her from birth, apart from the temping stint I did earlier this year.

It’s been (and still is) heartbreaking.  I know I was upset with the boys too, it never seems to get any better.  But for some reason there is more emotion attached this time.  I will be moving up the ranks of motherhood to the stage of all the children being at school.

You would think that with 3 children, and the disagreements they have between them, the noise they create etc that I would be thankful for them all being at school.  Not so.

There are days I could quite happily turn round and say buggar school, just to have the time with them. 

Maybe it’s because I know that once they start school, you can’t protect them as much.  And yes I know it’s a good learning ground and they have to get used to standing their ground, but I worry with my daughter that she’s not ready for this rufty tufty jostling.

The good thing is my boys have had all the teachers that are in nursery.  They are all moms too and I know she will thrive under their attention.  I couldn’t choose a better set of people for guiding them through these early years which are so fundamental in gearing them up for school life.

I asked my husband if men get upset too.  His reply was quite matter of fact, in that, he knows it’s inevitable that they start school, so you just have to deal with it.  I wish I could be as matter of fact. 

My only consolation is I know that I am not on my own with these emotions.  I’ve spoken to a few moms who have shared that they feel the same. Such is the journey of parenthood for women!

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