Sickly Sweet

 I have been overwhelmed by the responses to my profile posting.

The quick fix I wanted I got! As I stared at the computer screen I was like a child on Christmas Day and did not know what to look at first. There were smiles, instant messages and messages.

The smiles are an immediate way of making contact without having to say anything but simply expressing an interest in a  profile.

The instant messages are a way of communicating whilst the writer is online and you can have mini chats whilst online together.

And the  message where you send it like  an email  but within the confines of the site with the added bonus of not having to hand out your personal email.

I opened the first message with trepidation -  it went like this " Hi honey your’re so pretty would love to hear from you xxxxxxxx".

Well if this was how things were going to continue  I was gonna need a very big bucket, because of the rising sensation of nausea,  I FELT SICK!

I can handle being told I’m pretty, who wouldn’t, but the honey and kisses made my skin crawl. I think you need to be embedded in a relationship of sorts to receive those kinds of words and familiarity - call me old fashioned if you like but I can’t entertain it.

I was now scared to see what came next, this was not the attention I wanted!

I politely returned his message thanking him for his message and that honey and kisses was a little too over the top for me at this  early stage of the game.

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Music to My Ears

I used to be very into music, always watching Top of The Pops, listening to the chart run down on a Sunday night on Radio 1.  Listening to Annie Nightingale and other DJ’s to hear what the latest music was.  I remember being the first of my friends to buy Soft Cell - Tainted Love and Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark - Electricity.

I don’t have the luxury these days to get that involved, intent on playing or listening to whatever’s on the radio and asking for albums for Christmas or Birthdays.

However, today, I did a fly by on YouTube and came across a group called Honeyroot with their song Where I Belong.  I just loved it, especially loud. 

I then searched for Honeyroot and found their website for the album The Sun Will Come on which you can hear snippets off their album.

I particularly liked Goodbye and Stars, along with Where I belong.  Maybe it’s because there is a link to 80’s electronica in there.  Take a look, see what you think.

And, Santa, if you’re reading this it’s on my Christmas list along with Amy Winehouse and Back to Black, pretty please.

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How Sad Can You Get? - (Very!)

My sister stayed for a few days last week, which was great.  It was good to have some ‘normal sister’ time, not that we’re anything but normal.

After tea last Saturday we decided to go out for an hour or so to a local pub that was within walking distance.

We didn’t try very hard with our appearances (well I didn’t) and just threw some comfy clothes on. I didn’t even bother to tidy my hair. 

Unless I wash my hair the words ‘tidy’ and ‘hair’ just don’t mix.  I can’t just rub a bit of gel or whatever fancy hair product into dry hair and get it to magically transform into an uber style.

Think more of that advert from years ago with Napoleon saying ‘not tonight Josephine’ when her hair looks completely messed up.  (Actually can anyone remember what the advert was for?)

We both put our macs on, again, mine being less glamorous than sis’s.  (She had shiny buttons on hers - oooohhhh!)

For some reason this simple act transformed us into detectives.  Yes I know make believe should be left behind in childhood, but we had the sillies on.  My son even made us badges!

As sis had the shiny buttons she was the Detective Inspector, I was the sidekick.  Think Lewis to Morse.  We had torches each (due to the fairly dark road), and I (I can’t believe I’m going to share this) took a little flip top notebook and pen.

Oh yes and our accents also changed to East End London. 

This simple, childish act had us in fits of laughter as we walked down the road, stopping to make notes on events that were happening around us, which basically consisted of two firework bangs in the distance.

You’ll be pleased to know that there was no crime that night, apart from our dress sense!

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Rushed registration

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Do Snakes Have Backbones?

Goodness you can tell school has started again.  Just before going to sleep last night, my eldest son came out with this question. - do snakes have backbones?

His teacher had asked yesterday and his friend had said no, but my son had said yes.  He was then asked by his teacher to prove it and if he could, he would win 5 raffle tickets for the reward system they have.

We duly looked on google to get the proof and printed off the information that confirmed, yes, snakes do have backbones and belong to the vertebrate family.

Well they do say you learn something new every day!

I haven’t been on the blog much this week with the back to school run kicking in.  Not because I’ve been physically inert but emotionally I haven’t felt like blogging.

My youngest starts nursery in a couple of weeks and it’s tearing at my heart.  It’s probably because she is the last one into the school system and it’s partly due to the fact I have not worked (apart from the temping this year) with her.

She is my shadow and a Klingon and I’m going to miss her being at school even though she will be home before lunchtime.

I have no problems with her teachers, they are all lovely and I know she will blossom under them.

But then you see I am of that breed of moms who actually likes school holidays and having the children close at home. 

So getting back into the school run anyway is emotionally wearing for me, but I have the added ‘cry-baby’ stress of little one leaving the nest.

I know it will all work out okay, just got to get over myself!   Or as my sister eloquently puts it ‘build a bridge and get over it".

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History of Mr Wrongs

History is there for us to learn from our mistakes, so have I learnt from mine!

That is the million dollar question and the answer with hope anew is YES YES YES!

I did love all my mistakes  at their various stages but alas love was never sustained  and all ended for different reasons.

The marriage of 7 years left me  unhappy, unloved and a feeling the grass was greener on the other side. 

The first live in relationship of 3 years was dominated by a jealous and controlling lover.

The second live in left me feeling the most traumatised.  After six years of emotional and to a lesser extent physical abuse, he finally  left me at my all time weakest after declaring his affair with a 24 year old,  the year I turned forty!

The last but not least was by the far the nicest and most loving relationship I have encountered. Unfortunately, that  slowly disintegrated because we were quite clearly not on the same page, I no longer wanted to be the provider or his surrogate mother.

Quite an array of  interesting relationships, not forgetting the in betweenies, with a bevy of lessons having been learnt.

I know what I want and more importantly I am aware of what I will  not put up with and I am not going to accept anything less.

YOU GO GIRL!

So I did and subscribed to  an online dating service!

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I’m back

This column has become rather sporadic. I’m sorry and I promise to try to do better from now on!

No excuse, I know, but we have been dealing with a lot of family issues. Ageing parents causing concern. M, with his own  problems, who is psychologically up and down like a yoyo, so much so that I can’t keep up.

Then, of course, there was the summer holiday to contend with. Five weeks of it. Thank goodness for holiday playschemes. These are a must for children with special needs, they add some structure to the days and weeks and provide families with a little much needed respite.

Unfortunately many children with special needs cannot attend schemes designed for mainstream children for a variety of reasons…problems of physical access, schemes being too busy and noisy, lack of 1:1 support etc. There are specialist playschemes for children with special needs but they don’t come top of funding priorities, because intensive support is very expensive. There are just not enough holiday schemes or enough spaces on the ones that do exist.

I have been lucky this year, as we had at least two days a week on playschemes. Enough to keep S happy and me relatively sane. But he is a teenager now, albeit a very small one. Next year he will be too old for these schemes, yet he will never be able to go out independently as a normal teenager would. I don’t know what we will do in the summer, or indeed other school holidays.

I’d better start campaigning now…as soon as he goes back to school, that is!

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Introduction

The eternal optimist in me believes that every woman will find her true love. He may not arrive when you are expecting it but Prince Charming will arrive and you can live happily ever after. 

After trying every familiar way I know to find my true love I now have one marriage and three live in relationships chalked up on the board. I hate to admit it but history also shows a few attempts in between that never even made it over the threshold.

All my relationships needed to happen and there are few regrets because at the very least they have helped shape the woman I am today.

I  now find myself in a fulfilling job, I own my home, I have family that love me and I have a fabulous group of friends that have been by my side through each and every relationship and amazingly are still along for the ride! 

It has now been 24 years since I started  my journey of looking for love and although a little jaded,  I am still wondering if Mr Right is out there. 

It’s time that frog morphed into Prince Charming!

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Another New Writer

I am delighted to say that I have been approached by another writer over the last few days who has asked if they can start a column on teafriendsandchocolate.

We’ve had a few discussions about it and I think it will be a really interesting section.

Called Finding Mr Right, it will be written by a lady who will write under the name Fabulaugh and will be about the trials and tribulations of finding love in modern society ie can you find love on the internet?

I’ve already been promised the first article in the next day or so and can’t wait to see the story unfold.

Don’t forget when you’re passing through to have a look and also at the other Writer sections.

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Dreams

I’m probably not on my own here, but I do have some very strange dreams. 

The night before last I dreamt that I was having a meal with mom and dad in a restaurant. I was chatting and cracking jokes and trying to be funny but I ended up making my dad cry. 

I had levied a couple of jokes towards him and one of them was "have you got clean pants on?".   Why I would ask that as a joke, I have no idea.

In my dream I had embarassed him and these solitary tears crept from the corner of his eyes.  It really upset me in the dream and when I awoke, especially as regular readers will know dad passed away some years ago.

So what does this dream mean?  I have looked at a couple of websites but can’t find a category to put this in.

I also had one that I can still vividly recall a few years ago.  I was on a bus sitting at the very back in the centre.  Rab C Nesbitt was driving the bus (again, I don’t know why either!).  He pulled up at the bus stop really quickly, braking hard. 

I ended up running down the aisle from my seat saying "that was a bit of a stop wasn’t it?".  This made me laugh so much in my dream that I woke up laughing out loud.

I think I prefer dreams that make me laugh!

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