Let’s start at the very beginning…

I am on a trolley being wheeled back to the postnatal ward, my new son in my arms. He has arrived over three weeks early, but seems healthy and a good size for his gestation. Having previously had a child which spent several weeks in neonatal intensive care, I am just glad to have S with me. I look into his tiny face and he gazes back with unwavering wide eyes. Later in the week I tell my mother that at that very moment S reminded me of a cross between his brother M at that age and ET from the movie.

Knowing what we know now, the comparison with ET is not so surprising. S is severely autistic and people with autism are described as being like aliens from another planet, because they find it so difficult to communicate and adapt to society’s norms. I once read that having autism felt as we would feel if we were stranded in an exotic foreign country, unable to speak or read the language and could find no one to translate for us. We would struggle to comprehend the cultural differences and to make ourselves understood.

That is a thought that I have to cling on to when S is kicking off because he can’t understand what is expected of him. I hope that it is something that you will also remember if you meet a person with autism. Some parents even buy T shirts or badges for their kids printed with the words ‘I’m not naughty, I’m autistic’, just to encourage the world to show more understanding.

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As Long as it’s Alright….

Have you noticed how, when a woman is pregnant, people will stop and ask if she hopes for a girl or a boy?

The sort of reply most often given is ‘I don’t care as long as it’s alright.’

But have you ever stopped to think about the families who end up with a child that is not ‘alright’? Nowadays pregnant women are offered many tests.

If a problem is found with the foetus they are usually given a choice and whatever decision is made, it will not be an easy one.

However, it is often forgotten that there are also problems, such as cerebral palsy, which are actually caused by a premature or difficult birth and there are many other conditions which simply can’t be picked up by tests. There is no guarantee of a perfect baby.

Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD), are amongst those conditions which can’t be detected in the womb.

The causes of ASD are not yet known, there is no cure and it is currently being diagnosed at about the rate of about 1 child in 100 in the UK, although some children are more profoundly affected than others.

Our son is severely autistic and I want to tell you a little about the laughter and tears he brings to our family.

Stick with me for snapshots of our life…

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